By Bonnie Hislop
At ACCF, along with the countless happy endings and success stories, there are also countless new stories of women, varying in age and background, who have been diagnosed with cervical cancer.
As this is the first ACCF blog entry, I would like to introduce its purpose. This blog aims to provide a space where women ranging from teens upwards can access articles with facts on cervical cancer, stories from those affected by the disease—either directly or through friends and family—as well as news on ACCF supporters and the wonderful fundraising work they are doing.
This blog has come about because of a perceived need for a cervical cancer information resource that goes beyond simple facts and figures and provides encouragement, support and insight written by real women, for real women.
I met the most amazing woman today.
Or rather, I discovered the blog of an amazing woman today whose story of hope encapsulates what it is to be human, and is one that without the power of online self-publishing, may have never been told. Hers is a story like so many others ACCF hears on a regular basis, of a woman who has tragically lost her battle with cervical cancer. Julie’s is unique however, in the fact that through her online diary, she can continue to share her journey firsthand, which, even with such a sad ending, is nothing short of awe inspiring and filled with hope and determination.
Julie Forward DeMay was diagnosed with early stage cervical cancer in January 2008, underwent surgery in February and remained in remission till the day after Christmas that year when she received the news the cancer had spread to other parts of her body and was at that point considered stage 4, metastic cancer.
She blogged about her daily life including undergoing treatments—both alternative therapy and chemotherapy, as well as cherished past memories—from January to August 2009, but the posts stop here. Julie died on August 10, 2009, 2 days after her 37th birthday. In any other case, this tragic result would probably mean that the cancer had won the battle. That that marks the end of the journey.
Yet, today, as I discovered her blog, “Cell War Notebooks” which has now been compiled into a book of the same name and self published her mother Jane DeMay, I felt like a had befriended the most determined, witty, loving woman and someone who was still here, and not finished teaching.
Julie studied creative writing at university level, was a freelance photographer by profession, a wife and a mother to a young daughter named Luka. She writes about her day-to-day activities, and fondest memories, her descriptions of which unapologetically relate back to the ever-lurking reality of her deteriorating body yet refusal to give in.
On March 11 in a blog entry titled, “Hi my name is Cancer”, she writes, “Meeting new people these days is kind of difficult. When someone wants to shake hands and say where are you from? and what do you do? I want to say, Hi, my name is Cancer. My middle name is Blog. My last name is Green-Vegetables, with a hyphen. Cancer is all consuming. I try hard to let it not be.”
As a final word, something that resonated with me in Julie’s blog, were her mentions of the ways her friends gave her hope and support, and the strength to keep fighting. Sometimes it is difficult to know how you can help a friend who is fighting such an illness when it seems so big, but as displayed by Julie, the little things can make the biggest difference.
“People like angels keep sending me gift cards to the grocery and the wellness center. They clean my house. They send me encouraging emails. They leave flowers on my doorstep like tricky little pixies. These are my family and friends. My daughter made me a card for mother's day that has 18 hearts drawn on it and inside each heart, she wrote I love you.
This is my daughter. This community, this family and group of friends, this tiny daughter: they give me the strength to wait patiently. . . to keep walking. . . to live.”
Julie Forward DeMay, 11 May 2009.
Julie’s book is available for purchase at www.amazon.com and you can visit the original blog online at http://cellwarnotebooks.blogspot.com.
If you would like to share your story/ experience please email me at bonnie.hislop@accf.org.au.
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